Moments that take your breath away....

I had one of those moments of grief that took my breath away, one of Carrie's good friends made a video compilation of clips of different videos they had made together, and to see her being silly, seeing her smile, and hearing her laugh and voice...took my breath away.

Grief takes many forms over the course of its time and right now i don't know even know what form it has taken on. I'm at the point of wanting to let go for my own sanity...but not wanting to move an inch from where i am. And that's just part of the grief and loss...

As my grief has changed and turned into a million different emotions in the past year, I've also learned i'm stronger than i ever thought i was, and i can get thru about anything. I have really focused on others in the past year, and now i think I'm worn down to needing to focus on me. Which is incredibly hard as I'm a working married adult with responsibilities and animals to care for. I hope that in the coming months i can learn to let go and relax more, i can focus more on the good and try not to stress out so much over the little things.

I will and so will all of the people who love Carrie- Feel cheated about the abrupt end, the goodbye's we didn't get and the stories and memories we will never experience. I don't know if my heart will ever fully heal, and i have no idea where to even begin to repair it.


Here's to searching, and hoping and working towards happiness and normal again. Heck what is normal?

-Clarissa