Everything has changed so much since she passed, her siblings have grown up and moved out and are all doing different wonderful things with their lives. Her babies aren't babies anymore but adults and 2 of them have babies of their own! She would be a grandma! She would also be 41 years old. She would be so proud of her children, i wonder if she would have had more kids? If she would have loved herself more, if she would have gotten the right meds to deal with her depression. I wonder so many things about my sister whom i feel so far from. I was just 9 had just turned 9 about a week before her death she was so much older than me, so to this day she's mysterious to me. I know i wanted to be just like her, i know she was beautiful and had big brown eyes. I know she loved her kids more than anything else in this world. And i know she was passionate and determined and strong. She overcame so many things within her life abuse, depression, being a single mother...the list could go on.
I know that in my life she would be proud of me, she would be proud that i found happiness, and proud of my strength. I hope that i can continue to live the life i know she would be proud of.
As the years pass, i remember and hold my momma close on that day. I can't even begin to imagine the pain she feels. The day always comes and goes and makes us sad, yet remember her and her beautiful smile and energy. And as I've grown up i know and wonder what life would be like if she were here.... I'm now older than she was when she passed, that's so weird to think and to say. So now i leave you with this...love those around you with your whole entire heart, say i love you...and don't let something small become something big...always work it out <3 Tomorrow isn't promised...
No comments:
Post a Comment